Mat GOULD

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midnight to noon sweating on the edge of purity

i layed down on rocks last night and woke up with diamonds i dreamed about demons and woke up with an angel there was poetry on her belly and kisses on my face the sun came out of the sewar and i lit a cigarette just to light a cigarette i blew smoke in the mirror and spit at my feet took a drink of water straight from the sink i had jelly beans for breakfast and coffee for lunch i called my baby on the phone and told her i cant do this no more and she said what are you talking about and i said i dont know so i stepped outside took a breath got choked up jump off the balcony and walked into the street and drove my typwriter toward traffic looking for a head on collision but it was like death it wont budge so all thats left is this poem about this girl i just met—




throw me a bone so i won't chase the rabbit

i ve tried needles ans shotguns and the bottoms of bottles and i ve even tried lying down in the midst of oncoming mass transit and heartbreak almost worked but no matter what i always come to and whimper cry and get pathetic and beg my typewriter to take me back even after i dropped it from the balcony and scolded it for writing bad poetry and she ended up in the arms and at the fingertips of some well known best selling type of hound that has windows with desks all over the world and expense accounts and agents and hell all that shit but she always comes back and i promise and swear and we make the maddest of mad love and this time if she comes back its for real i ll quit everything i ll quit walking the mid-night streets seranading the stars i ll quit caressing myself i ll quit singing into the lights that blind me into darkness i ll uncover and undress i ll drink water and swim in the sun i ll polish my crucifix and i ll be faithful and merciless i ll bet on the gray dog with black spots everytime win or lose its how we make our entrance and its how we end and i ll live by that and that alone here i come and there i go off to the races feel my heart whipping your ass . . . she s so pretty standing at the door waiting to be let back in—




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